Unsung MMO Heroes

Since no one reads blog posts in the U.S. today anyway, I figured I would show my appreciation for all the MMO devs that no one ever thinks or hears about… Bud Light style.

Today we salute you, Mr. Senior Server Engineer Guy.

Mr. Senior Serverrrrr Engineer Guy-eeee-iii!

The marketing team says an expansion population influx is on it’s way, you just roll up your sleeves in grim determination.

Will the budget buy more voodoo candles?

Even though implementing the new technologies on the old hardware is like driving a dying wildebeast towards death, you’ll hold the ship together.

Like Captain Ahab.

You walk around the office with more pagers than a head surgeon at a hospital so you can answer a call in the middle of your kid’s birth.

Can’t let the hardcore down.

So crack open a cold, refreshing Bud Light, oh savior of the servers, because when the Horde decides to attack Iron Forge, you’ll make sure the only reality the players really have doesn’t go down.

Mr. Seeeeeeenior Server Engineer Guy.

—-

Today we salute you, Mr. Armor Alignment Artist Guy.

Mr. Armor Alignment Art-eeeeeest Guy!

The artists simply make the art, but you need the expertise to put that one armor on everything from midgets to cow-people.

Goddamn the concept artists and their goddamn spikes.

You know that this job requires more than polygonal precision because every fashionista knows that it’s how you wear it.

Like an easter-egg G-string.

Players want to wear half-plate leggings with a burlap bag tunic.  No problem.

My bottom still itches.

So crack open a cold, refreshing Bud Light, seamstress of the shards, because you know, like real life, that +5 vorpal epic swords should not ignore capes, no matter what race the player is.

Mr. Armor Align-eeee-ment Artist Guy!

—-

Today we salute you, Mr. Fantasy Creature Sound Guy.

Mr. Fantas-eeeee Creature Sound Guy!

Who hears too much reverb on that rabid wombat cry?  You do.

Aural immersion is important too.

That asshole Pardo wants Murloc sounds spelled phonetically.  No problem.

Aaaaaughibbrgubugbugrguburgle!

Recycled Doom sounds just won’t cut it for your demon babies.

Not like that one cartoon show.

So crack open a cold, refreshing Bud Light, maestro of mob music, because you know that the difference between a mating call and an agro-warning could mean actual death.

Mr. Fantasy Creature Sou-eeeee-ound Guy!

–Ravious
mountain man